Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Grandma... a farewell

My beloved Grandma Norma passed away tonight.  I can't sleep, I can't think.  I can only sit here, through the tears, thinking about the lady we lost.
Our last hug
I am glad that she feels no more pain, that she has peace, that she is with my Grandpa... don't we always say that?  Glad she lived a full life; 83 years and so many kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, to include her great-granddaughter Maddy, born tonight.  I really think she stuck around to see that newborn picture.  But all those things we always say, they're never enough in the end, are they?  They aren't going to help you think rationally when you're overwhelmed with sorrow.

I'll miss so many things about my Grandma, the amazing cook, the seamstress, the farmer's wife, the nurturing matriarch.  She was a survivor, and she was wonderful.  I'll miss her noodles, and the pumpkin pies she made for me every time I came home.  It didn't matter if it was July, she found pumpkin to make me a pie.  I'll miss the holidays we spent as a big family... will those go away?

I am so lucky to have shared my life with my grandparents... I had all four still with me into adulthood.  I think about how each one has impacted my life, and just how valuable every minute I had with them really was.  I think about my mother's parents, also in their 80s now, and how I wish I could spend more time with them.

Yesterday I woke up hearing the words to one of my favorite songs from RENT... I couldn't help but sing, "There's only us, there's only this... forget regret, or life is yours to miss.  No other road, no other way, no day but today."

I'm reminded just what a gift each day is, no matter how cliche it sounds.  If you're reading this, stop what you're doing and seize the day you are given.  Go outside and think about all you have to be thankful for... honor the memories.  Because in the end, there's only us, there's only this.


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