Sunday, February 19, 2012


I've had a few encounters with anxiety lately, and it ain't my friend.

It sucks.  It seems like you're doing so well, and then when you least expect it, it strikes.  Heart pounding, pit in your stomach, palms sweating... I feel so dizzy, tunnel vision.  It can have the power to incapacitate you.

For me, anxiety and depression were linked.  And now that I am no longer suffering from depression, my therapy sessions mainly address things in my life that cause me anxiety, to keep it from 'getting' me again.

When I start to feel anxiety, I have to take a step back.  Usually it has something to do with others and their approval of me, in some regard.  Something I feel invested in.  I'm a people-pleaser, and it's torture!  I have to back up and ask myself, "Why should I care about this?"  Most of the time, it just isn't worth being anxious over.  It isn't going to matter a week from now, or a year from now.  Chances are, something that causes me anxiety isn't causing other people anxiety, so why let it get to me?

I distract myself so I don't dwell... something as simple as aimlessly pinning on Pinterest, watching bad reality TV, doing anything mundane and mindless.  It occupies another part of my mind, so I can't be consumed.  Then later I realize it really wasn't worth being anxious or worried at all.  Peace.

The funny thing is, when you try to keep anxiety at bay, you kind of start to think that you shouldn't let ANYTHING make you even a little upset.  The moments of stress/anxiety I've brought up in therapy lately have actually been incidents where my therapist agrees I should have felt something!  So you're constantly walking that fine line between feeling too much and feeling too little... it all come backs to balance, something we're all trying to maintain.  We just need to know when to let go.

Oh, balance.  Elusive and difficult, but I'm closer and closer every day.  :)


  1. I have a buddy that has this problem that has him house ridden. It's a force of will that you can overcome it, and it's very admirable.

    Also: is that you in the photo? Lookin' good! :)

  2. I wish it was me in the photo! :) But I am down 8 lbs. since the New Year.


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