My Grandma & Me |
I'm one of those fortunate people who grew up having all four grandparents in my life. While my nuclear family led a nomadic existence for a while, and those relationships with grandparents were often long-distance, I got to know and love each one of my them and couldn't imagine not having them around. While the memories of my wedding day are now bittersweet post-divorce, I will never forget how happy and lucky I was to have all of them there for me. Losing Grandpa almost two years ago was devastating, even though all of my grandparents have reached their 80s. I was overwhelmed with grief, especially since I had not seen him in almost six months. (Sadly, I see my Korean grandparents even less often; they are the sweetest people and I love them so much even though they are so far away.)
Mother's Day 2011 at Grandma's |
I am coming to the realization that we can't let hanging on to the past get in the way of living our lives. We are going to lose the people we love; death is a part of life. You never know who you will lose, because it's unpredictable that way. Mothers lose children, even though it's heartbreaking. I know that my grandparents, and parents, have all lived full and happy lives. They are loved, and I know I am loved as well. My favorite quote from one of my most beloved movies, Steel Magnolias, is when Shelby says, "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." I've had twenty-six years of wonderful, thanks to these wonderful people in my life. Loss is a fact of life, one that I am bitterly accepting but will never fully embrace.
On a lighter note, my French houseguest LD and her boyfriend MB were the sweetest and got me a couple of awesome parting gifts, a French-American cookbook and a Spanish Mediterranean cookbook (tapas!). Last night LD cooked chicken with almonds, as well as green beans. And guess what? I ate a serving of green beans. My Mom is probably shaking her head in disbelief over that statement! :)
Also, I think I've narrowed my DSLR search down to a Nikon D7000. Now who wants to buy me one? Sigh.
::hugs:: I know what you mean. My grandfather died last week (he was 90) and I couldn't make it out for the funeral, because I live so far away. I felt terrible. But then my friend Mike pointed out that I was doing exactly what my grandpa had told me to with my life, and in a way, the way I am living in a tribute to him. But I know it's still hard. Love to you and your fam.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. When my Grandpa was dying, I was able to talk to him even though he couldn't respond. I knew with all my heart that he was proud of me and wanted me to keep doing what I'm doing. He was an awesome man, and that's why I continue to make his memory a part of my life!
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