Reflections

Today is both Flag Day and the Army Birthday. When I was in the Army, we often had cake and celebrations associated with this day. Today, I'm just at home still in my PJs reflecting on the fact that I've spent more time outside of the Army than in it.

The first time I deployed, a volunteer handed me a little flag before I stepped on the plane. It was the same kind I've handed out at parades or nursing homes, the little inexpensive ones on a wooden rod that might give you a splinter if you're not careful. But that day, I had this realization that there was a chance I might not set foot on American soil again. I clung to that little flag in fear and anxiety, hoping for the best.

As controversial as General MacArthur was, sometimes I still hear the recording of his aged voice in my head... ""Duty, Honor, Country" — those three hallowed words reverently dictate what you ought to be, what you can be, what you will be. They are your rallying point to build courage when courage seems to fail, to regain faith when there seems to be little cause for faith, to create hope when hope becomes forlorn."

In tough times, in challenging times, in scary times, I find myself clinging metaphorically to that little 30-cent flag. Sometimes, I feel its splinters digging into my hand. But I hold fast because of those three words, reminding me to never give up on courage, faith, and hope. There remains the possibility and potential for a better tomorrow.

West Point: 10-Year Reunion

My favorite view at West Point

In October, Dan and I headed to my alma mater, the United States Military Academy at West Point, for my 10-year college reunion.  I was really excited about the trip, because it was my first time introducing Dan to a place that is very near and dear to my heart.

Maybe I'll show this photo to our baby someday!

I wanted to make sure Dan had the full experience at West Point, including seeing some of the behind the scenes things that are pretty much off-limits to the public.  After all, it's a fully functional military base!  Fortunately, my goddaughter's father is assigned there, so he was able to show us the Mess Hall, the fitness center and gyms, and even a cadet room!  Then I walked Dan around Trophy Point overlooking the river, so he could see some of the grounds.

We did participate in a few of the "official" reunion events, including a nice class dinner, viewing the cadet review on the parade field, a tailgate at the Firstie Club (the senior bar/club), and a football game!  Whew!  We did a LOT.  We also walked quite a bit, and those hills are a lot tougher now that I'm older, less fit, and pregnant.

The thing that made the reunion worthwhile (other than introducing Dan to my school!)  was seeing my old friends and classmates.  My company (my classmates who shared a dorm with me for our sophomore through senior years) showed up in bigger numbers than most.  I saw friends that were in my classes/major, in the same sports, and more.  It made me incredible nostalgic of course.  I can't believe we graduated over ten years ago!

And three people missed this photo...  H4 Hogs were representing!

I don't think I was on the fence about attending my reunion, but I definitely wondered if it was necessary in the age of social media.  After attending, I would resoundingly say it still has a place!  Much more so in this case than even my high school reunion, because my college was particularly tight-knit and unique.

I may not go to reunions every five years, but I probably will try every ten.  This one was also particularly special because we stayed with my goddaughter's family, spending quality time with my friends and their kids, even taking them to the local pumpkin patch and doing a hayride.  I am so glad I went, and that Dan could come with me!

Have you ever attended your high school or college reunion?

West Point

One thing my Nashville blogger buddies know about me that I don't mention too often here: I'm a U.S. Army veteran and graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point.  Whew, that's a mouthful.

I hadn't been back to visit USMA (as it is more briefly called) since 2008, when I saw a friend who would be killed in action in Afghanistan just a couple of years later while I was deployed to Iraq.  We'd lived in the same dorms for three years together.  His name was Sal Corma, and he was 24 years old.  He was an only child with an infectious smile and the most polite and genuinely kind person you'd ever meet.

Recently, I had a chance to return with friends to my alma mater.  One of the first things we did was visit the cemetery.  As my friend JH guided me to Sal's grave (the headstones were beautifully decorated with wreaths from Wreaths Across America for the holidays) I noticed that I knew so many of the other names in that corner of the cemetery.  JH and I were suddenly overwhelmed with tears, something I hadn't been expecting at all.  I won't even list all of the names here because there are so many, people I used to see at meals, in the hallways, in class.  It's just too much sometimes, and I have started to understand why I'm not as open here about it as I am other things in my life.

Visiting West Point was the oddest feeling...  It felt like I was coming back after Christmas break to put on the uniform and start classes again, and it was strange not to walk past the signs into the cadet areas.

Jefferson Library

After visiting the cemetery, I wanted to see the new library, which was being built when I graduated.  I wanted to see it.  It was much more modern-looking to me than other buildings, but I think over time the stone will age and blend in.  I even had a chance to chat with a cadet who was standing guard, and while our experiences are very different they also sounded very similar.

Another plus of visiting West Point is that so many people I know are living and working around the school.  I went to Andy's Restaurant, an old brunch hangout of mine, to meet with a few girls I ran cross country with during my freshman and sophomore years.  It was so neat to see everyone years later!

Reunion at Andy's Restaurant

I must admit, however, that one of the most important things about my trip to West Point was spending a few days with my little "niece" Elle.  I was Maid of Honor for JH and PH (and I helped set them up in college) so I consider them my family.  I see them every year though mostly just in passing on one of their long car trips, but it just isn't enough.

I had such a good time just being at home with them, even though JH did have me help with a little drywall and it went in my EYE and I don't do that stuff OMG.  I picked up cooking tips from J, we took Elle to see Frozen (so good!), and we had a really great visit.  I didn't realize how much I'd missed them until I was there, then I didn't want to leave!  They've also done such an amazing job renovating their home.  It's a Before/After dream.

Yeah, I need to correct the red-eye but whatever.

A real fire and Peanut loves it.

 I had a fantastic trip... and then I caught a direct flight to San Francisco.  To be continued...

P.S.  I also stopped very briefly in NYC to surprise my cousin Suzy!  If you're into yoga, or think you might want to start, you should check out her website or Facebook especially if you're in NYC.

P.P.S.  You might have noticed I no longer feature my Before I'm 30 bucket list.  Well, I thought I'd briefly mention why.  26-year-old me loved the idea of doing 100 silly things before I'm 30, but almost-29-year-old doesn't even want to do most of those things anymore.  While it has been enjoyable and fun to chase those "goals", they just aren't aligned to where I am in life no.  Tant pis, c'est la vie, que sera sera.  I'm happier pursuing the here & now, and I'm lucky enough to have an amazing life happening without a list!

America's Game #GoArmy

I'm not a sports person.  I can typically tell you which sports team belongs in the NFL, MLB, NHL, or NBA, and I know the basic rules.  (Well, less in hockey, and I still haven't figured out "off-sides" in soccer.)

But one day a year, I'm a die-hard sports fan.  And that is the day of the Army-Navy football game, a.k.a. America's game.

My father, uncle (on my mother's side), and myself are all West Point graduates.  No matter how good either team has been in the regular season, Army-Navy is rarely an obvious game to watch.  There's something about this rivalry that makes each side want it so badly, miracles can happen.

So one day a year, I'm riveted to the screen.

Trent Steelman, saluting after his touchdown

It hasn't always been easy to watch.  Going into this recent match-up, we'd suffered embarrassing losses for the past decade.  But last year, we were within single digits.  And this year, as heartbreaking as it was, we were within a play.  We were leading into the 4th quarter, but came up short in the end.  It was one of the longest 15 minutes of my life.

After the game, I stood up to sing my Alma Mater with the team on screen.   Tears streamed down my face as I watched Army's Senior QB, Trent Steelman, sobbing on-screen.  He was so close, and he wanted it so badly.  I wanted it for him, for all of us.  We deserved it.  But I wasn't embarrassed, I was proud.

At the end of the day, I think about the seniors on both teams, who will join the armed forces in May, undoubtedly deploying to harm's way.  Truthfully, this football game was the easy part of their journey.

We'll get them next year.  BEAT NAVY!  I maybe a sports fan one day a year, but I have a fantastic team.

Mentorship & Coach Q

Coach Q

I've been thinking a lot about mentorship.  I really believe that it is one of the most important things to have in your life, for your personal path and your career.  I have had a series of great mentors in my life... my parents are my constants, I had great coaches and teachers in high school and college, and I even have close friends who are my mentors in their own way.  We stay in touch, mainly through Facebook, but I know if I ever need them, they are there.

It's important to have people who believe in you, especially when you're about to give up on yourself.  It's important to have people who set a good example, who achieve their dreams, so you can believe in your own.

I don't talk that much about West Point on this blog... have I ever even mentioned it?  Maybe once or twice.  My four years at West Point were perhaps some of the most formative years of my life.  It is a magnet for great mentors and leadership.  But I may never have gotten there if it weren't for Coach Q.

Coach Jerry Quiller made cross country and track his life... he ran in high school and college, and coached at universities for most of his adult life.  He produced multiple Olympians, nearly two dozen All-Americans, and sent numerous athletes to the NCAA Championships.  He mentored athletes and helped them pursue greatness.  But he was more than just a coach; he was a good man.

Track meets are long! We may have taken some pictures
with Q as he caught a nap...

I was a runner in high school and performed fairly well.  But then I went to West Point for a visit, and I knew that was where I should be.  Coach Q heard of me based on some times I ran my freshman and sophomore years of high school, and he thought I could maybe run at that level again.  Perhaps more importantly, Coach Q thought I would be a good cadet, and he knew what it took to make it through the United States Military Academy.


After receiving a Letter of Assurance from West Point in the fall, I got some bad news in the spring of my senior year: I was medically disqualified from attending West Point.  I couldn't get the usual waiver for my vision; they didn't think my terrible eyesight would be correctable.  I was devastated, and I started making backup college plans.  But Coach Q stepped in and went to bat for me; he made me an official athletic recruit, and he reassured me we could get a waiver.  And we did.

I only ran on the team for two years and was pretty much the slowest girl on the team.  But Q promised I could stay on as long as I wanted, and encouraged me to enjoy being a cadet and pursuing my interests.  I loved West Point, and I really thrived there.  Many of my teammates and classmates had closer relationships to Q than I ever did, but I will never forget how much this one man changed my life by believing in me.  Even though I was never a star, he remembered me whenever we crossed paths.  I knew he was happy to have helped me get into the college of my dreams, and I can never thank him enough or repay him for that.  I don't believe he ever truly recruited me to be a runner; I think he just wanted to make me a cadet, because he saw something in me.

My eyes are closed, but I'm standing with greatness.

We lost Coach Q yesterday, after a long battle with multiple myeloma.  He was an incredible man, and a true mentor to so many.  I am keeping his wife and sons in my thoughts today, and giving thanks that he cared enough to stand up for me.  I wouldn't be where I am today if not for him.