Freddie's Birth Story

Three months ago (OMG time has flown), we were blessed with our second little bundle of joy,  Freddie!  Overall, his birth was much less eventful than Kenny's (read that story here), but definitely challenging in its own way!

We'd celebrated Halloween with my parents, taking Kenny to trick-or-treat at their house.  Of course, that meant he wanted to spend the night with them!  He spent one night just about every week at their house during my pregnancy, to give us a chance to rest and clean the house as we prepped for the new baby.  It's a good thing that Kenny was with my parents, because the next morning I started to feel contractions.  I started tracking them, because at 38 weeks I know there was a chance that they were Braxton-Hicks.  But these were persistent, and none of the usual tricks to get them to stop worked!  I told Dan, and we hunkered down at home to wait for them to get closer together.

This was definitely more challenging than with Kenny, because I was induced for my first pregnancy.  Every contraction happened at the hospital, and I was able to get the epidural started well before they became very painful, so I'd never really experienced the "real deal" painful contractions.  Honestly, the worst I'd had the first go-round felt like painful cramping.

Around 9pm, I told Dan that I wanted to go to the hospital.  My contractions were about 10 minutes apart, and they were starting to hurt.  But when I got to the hospital, the contractions were close enough together for them to want to keep me there.  They encouraged us to go home and labor for longer.  Ugh!  It was frustrating.

I spent the rest of the night on an exercise ball that my Mom had brought over, watching Band of Brothers on TV as I moaned and endured more and more painful contractions.  The nurse had told me to come back when they were consistently 3 minutes apart, but around 3am (at 5 minutes apart) I told Dan they were too painful and I wanted to go back to the hospital.  By the time we got checked, I was 5cm dilated and they were ready to move me to a delivery room!  Yay!

I included a photo here of me with my mask (pulled down to smile).  Due to COVID-19, I'd never visited the maternity ward at our hospital before.  I'd only toured it virtually!  We also wore masks (yes, I labored and delivered wearing a mask!) the whole time.  I did not have issues with the mask at all, though at the end of delivery they did give me an oxygen mask to help me breathe between pushes.  I also had a COVID-19 test done during labor, which I apparently refused pre-epidural.  LOL.  Don't ask me to do anything when I'm in pain!

Even though I'd progressed quickly during the night, I stalled out a bit that morning.  This gave us time to get my epidural going (thank goodness), and the doctor broke my water in anticipation of some pitocin to speed things along.  Well, breaking my water did the trick!  By the time she checked me next, I was fully dilated and ready to push.  Baby was sunny side up (face up) but ended up turning last-minute after half an hour of pushing.  And then he was here!

Due to my gestational diabetes, Freddie's blood sugar was a little out of whack initially, but after nursing he adjusted well enough for us to go home.  I was feeling pretty good (definitely well compared to postpartum with Kenny!) and we were on our way home within 36 hours.  Freddie had a touch of jaundice, but he was such a good eater that it passed to normal levels quickly.

Kenny has embraced his role as older brother.  Our lives are louder, messier, and more exhausting, but we're really happy we added this little guy to the mix!

My Pandemic Pregnancy

Dan and I had always talked about having two children, and we had hoped to get pregnant or have our second before we moved to Indiana.  We had even gone through fertility exams again, including a round of IUI before we moved.  After the IUI didn't take, we seriously discussed adoption again, but we knew that I'd gotten pregnant before in the cycles after my HSG exam before and I hoped it would happen again... and it did!

In March of 2020, just a few days before the pandemic shutdowns hit our area, I found out I was pregnant.  We'd been trying for over a year like we had with Kenny, so Dan didn't quite believe me when I told him.  The timing was also challenging, as we'd just moved and I was starting a new career.  But we knew this was what we wanted, and thankfully our move had brought us close to family who would be able to help us.

Things That Were Different...

• Virtual Visits instead of in-person visits
• I didn't really have much of an exam before my last trimester!  Since I found out about my pregnancy right as the first pandemic shutdowns and protocols hit, so they honestly didn't really even want to see me other than in-person.
• Curbside Blood Draw
• Since I had pre-eclampsia last pregnancy, they wanted to be sure to monitor me closely in case it happened again.  But what was different is that for one of my big blood draws, I was asked to pull up in my car and have the phlebotomist draw blood while I sat in my vehicle!
• Masks for Visits
• No surprise there, but I had to wear a mask every visit.
• No Partner for Ultrasounds
• Dan was unable to attend the two main ultrasounds, as no guests were allowed.  This protocol changed later in the year, so when I needed an ultrasound close to my due date, they allowed him to join me.
• No Babymoon, or traveling in general.  All my trips for the year were cancelled.
• Virtual Hospital Tour
• We were delivering at a new-to-us hospital, but we couldn't take a tour of the maternity ward.  Instead, I watched a video online!
• Limited Hospital Guests & No Hospital Photographer
• Our hospital only allowed one guest per day, which included your support person.  So if I had tried to rotate someone else in, Dan wouldn't be allowed back.  But this worked out just fine because we only stayed at the hospital for 36 hours, and my parents were caring for Kenny.
• For Kenny, there was a photographer who did a newborn photo shoot on-site in our recovery room.  This was not the case in 2020!
• COVID-19 test in the delivery room
• Apparently I refused this test pre-epidural (can you blame me?  I was in pain!) but the doctor asked me again once I had my meds and I consented.  It sucked!  It was a swab that went way down your throat, then the same swab went way up your nose.  It made my eyes water, and I had to cough afterwards.

20-week Ultrasound

One thing we were able to do safely with distancing was take family photos!  Pictures and social media were how we updated family and friends.

portraits by Amanda Field Photography

We also did a Star Wars/Mandalorian themed pregnancy announcement, sticking to TV trends like our Game of Thrones announcement when Kenny was born.

Overall, pregnancy in a pandemic felt more isolating and lonely. I didn't have my social support structure like last time (other than my parents and texts).  I did have super generous friends and family who sent us giftcards and gifts, which really cheered me up quite a bit to be able to shop or order food when we needed things.  It was also tougher for Dan to connect with this pregnancy, since he couldn't attend the ultrasounds or appointments to hear the heartbeat.  But we definitely were grateful to be growing our family in spite of it all!

Pittsburgh with a Toddler

In June, we flew to Pittsburgh for an extended weekend (sort of between a long weekend and a week!) to visit with Dan's family and friends.  It was Kenny's first trip to Pittsburgh, and honestly he was at the perfect age to visit the city!  We flew on a direct Southwest flight, like we've done with Kenny before, and he was pretty good.  We are definitely at the age now where even though he can fly for free, it's getting difficult/uncomfortable if he doesn't have his own seat.  So I'm seeing more road trips (or buying him a seat) in our future, especially now that I'm the proud owner of a minivan!

We rented a car upon arrival, because it was the most convenient way for us to get around, especially now that our extended family has grown and requires more carseats.  That meant we had some flexibility to take Kenny to the Children's Museum in Pittsburgh.  As an added bonus, the museum was offering free admission for Veterans, and with Kenny being under 2, he was also free admission.

Kenny absolutely loved the museum!  They had exhibits with Curious George and Eric Carle (he loves The Hungry Caterpillar) that he really enjoyed exploring.  It was fun to see him get hands-on in an environment designed for little ones.

On the top floor, there is a water play area.  Hindsight, I'd have packed Kenny swimming clothes or strips him down to shorts, because he got DRENCHED.  But he was enjoying it to the max, and I was glad we did that activity last, because he was not happy we had to leave.

We also got to visit the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium, a place Dan loved as a kid!  We were lucky again because the zoo had free admission for veterans for the summer, so it was another free excursion for us, along with a big group of family and friends.

Kenny loved the warthogs!

Sidenote:  I was saddened to learn that the zoo was no longer AZA accredited, as we make an effort to support those zoos and aquariums that are.  But this was a fairly recent change due to disputes over elephant handling.  They do have ZAA accreditation (a much newer and smaller organization), and I believe Pittsburgh's a high quality facility, but I know that means it cannot participate in some of the species survival programs and grants that AZA zoos have.

The Pittsburgh Zoo is hilly, but it has plenty of shaded areas and an air-conditioned aquarium to give you relief from the heat.  I didn't love the parking situation, as it's a gravelly hike to the gates, and you have to take an elevator (with stroller) or escalator to get to the exhibits.  But overall, there are tons of animals and lots to see, so much you might not get to all of it in one visit if you have little ones.  I liked the elephants and lions the best, I think.  There were also newborn leopard cubs to see!

I'd love to take Kenny to the Carnegie Museums on a future visit, as I haven't been since Dan and I were dating.  We also didn't get to visit the most kid-friendly area of the zoo, so maybe on another trip we could head to that first.  It was a hot day, and all of the kids (and adults) were just worn out from the hills and heat.  I've also heard Idlewild has a Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood area of the amusement park.

Overall, it was my favorite trip to Pittsburgh yet.  We had a lot of time to relax and let Kenny enjoy being around his cousins, uncles, aunt, and Nana, friends, dogs, etc.   And we also were able to show him some pretty cool places to go too.

Pittsburgh has a ton to do for families of toddlers!

We're lucky to always have an excuse to go back.

Kenny's cousin-dog, Taco

Chattanooga for Families

Chattanooga is one of my favorite places in Tennessee, quite possibly the South in general.  It feels like this cool combo of Asheville and Cincinnati, a city that is outdoorsy and unique and friendly.  There's good food and drink, friendly people, and vibrant neighborhoods to explore.  It was one of our fav places to go before we had Kenny, so we decided to head back for a weekend with him as a family getaway.

Walnut St. Bridge

The downside to our visit is that it was a rainy weekend, but we still enjoyed ourselves.  We chose a hotel downtown, knowing that we would be walking distance to so many places.  The downtown area has plenty of sidewalks!  We took a walk across the Walnut St. Bridge, the world's longest pedestrian bridge, until the rain made us take a break.

But the #1 reason we wanted to bring Kenny to Chattanooga was the world-class AZA-certified Tennessee Aquarium.  It's one of our favorite aquariums, and we visited during Chatt trips in 2014 and 2017.  Kenny loves the fish tank at daycare, and so we figured it would be a good time to take him.  He LOVED it.

The sea turtle was going by and doubled back to check out Kenny!

The aquarium is perfect for families.  We took our stroller, but Kenny could stand and look at some of the exhibits on his own.  You can take the elevator to the top and then work your way down, with automatic doors and ramps.  Since it is divided into two buildings (River and Ocean Journeys), we decided to do one building before lunch/naptime and another after.  Your tickets allow you to come back in if you leave!  This is where staying at a hotel nearby came in handy.  The box office opens 30 minutes before the aquarium does, so I went ahead and bought our tickets (there is a discount for Veterans) before heading back to the hotel to help get Kenny ready.  It was nice to be able to visit restaurants nearby and hit the hotel for naptime to make the most of a full day at the aquarium.  We had so much fun!

I think it's obvious that places like the aquarium are family-friendly, but Chattanooga also has a lot of dining options.  One thing I miss about life pre-kid is those foodie dinner dates we used to have.  Public House was one of the restaurants on my list from years ago that I wanted to visit, but I wasn't sure it was feasible with a toddler.  Then I learned they have a three-course kids menu, so they had to be welcoming to families, right?  I made a reservation on the earlier side (I find people are more friendly if you are eating with kids at 5 or 6, because non-kid people tend to eat later) and we braved it.  It was a great experience for all of us, as Dan and I could enjoy cocktails and delicious food in a setting we normally wouldn't take Kenny.  They even validate parking, y'all.

We also ate at Beast + Barrel, Mellow Mushroom, and Milk & Honey, all of which were accommodating of Kenny.  Milk & Honey didn't have a kids menu, and it was very small, but they had the first-ever high top highchairs I've ever soon!

Public House Chattanooga

Years ago, Dan and I decided that we would try to visit only AZA-certified zoos and aquariums.  Would you believe that Chattanooga has TWO such places to visit?  The Chattanooga Zoo is very small, so small that it might be overlooked as a place to go if you're not local.   But if you've got a toddler, it's absolutely perfect!  It wasn't crowded, parking was ample and close by, and the prices are low.  (In fact, for Veterans admission is FREE!)  Kenny loved running around the zoo, and they had some great exhibits.

Petting Zoo

Because it wasn't insanely crowded, we really felt we could let Kenny explore and walk on his own, which was perfect to wear him out before our car ride home.  The zoo is also expanding to add giraffes and lions in the future, so we wouldn't hesitate to take him back!

Chattanooga just has so much to offer.  If we'd had more time, we would have loved to stop by the Creative Discovery Museum or the Hunter Museum of American Art.  

We love Chattanooga, and it's a great place for families!

Kenny's 1st Birthday Party 돌

I'm going to be honest with you... I never thought I'd throw a big 1st birthday party for my kid.  But then, when I was pregnant, I was discussing with my Mom how it might be nice to give Kenny a traditional Korean first birthday celebration (call a dol or 돌), even if it was just close family.  My wonderful relatives in Korea gifted us a beautiful traditional outfit (called hanbok) for him to wear, and our minds were made up... we'd be having a party!

For the party, we decorated a table with a lot of symbolic elements.  A traditional table for a dol celebration includes a number of elements, but in general, it represents hope for a bountiful future.  For Kenny's table, we had food to represent abundance, color to represent a bright and vivid future, and circles for generosity and life without hardship.  My Mom made sure that there were odd numbers (lucky!) of fruit and lots of homemade rice cakes.  I made his birthday cake and ordered decorations and party gear online.  My Mom, sister, and I made bean towers with Kenny's name spelled in Korean script and "Happy Dol".  These cost like $200-300 on Etsy, so we DIYed them ourselves for like $25.

More than 50 friends and family from six states joined us for Kenny's party, which included traditional Korean first birthday elements including a doljabi (돌잡이).

The highlight of the Korean dol (돌) is a custom called the doljabi (돌잡이) where the child is placed in front of a tray of objects and encouraged to pick one. It is believed the object the child selects will foretell the child's future.  We also had a raffle where guests could guest which object Kenny would pick, and the winner would get a Korean children's book.

Kenny picked a medallion, which symbolizes "high position" in life, such as political figure or other achievements.  He grabbed the ball next (athleticism), and then the yarn (long life).

For food, we had both American and Korean dishes, but the Korean food was a big hit!  We had bulgogi, japchae, and bibimbap from Soy Bistro.  I wish I'd taken photos, but it was so delicious it was devoured before I remembered!

We also had family portraits and party photos captured by our friend Steve Cross, who has captured so many special memories of our family's life.  Dan's mother, my parents, and my sister were a huge part of the weekend too, making the party run as smoothly as possible along with Dan and me.

That said, I think next year for his 2nd birthday, we'll just do a little cake at home and maybe something fun as a little family.  I love the Korean tradition of a big 1st birthday as something truly special to cap off that first year in the world.  He'll have a party again someday, maybe when he's old enough to ask for one!

Flying with Baby

This summer, Kenny embarked on not one, but TWO air travel weekend trips!  He actually got to visit the West Coast and the East Coast in the same month.  I had already planned to fly to Los Angeles for a long weekend, to visit my grandparents.  My grandmother had a stroke back in May, and my grandfather is in his 90s.  I didn't plan on taking Kenny, but my grandfather asked and asked and asked... so finally Dan and I decided that maybe I should, so Kenny could meet his only living great-grandparents.

LAX, baby!

Overall, Kenny did really well!  I think my biggest fear was a blowout in-flight, but thankfully that didn't happen.  I changed him into a nighttime diaper right before flying, and he did great.  I checked his carseat (using this bag) and our suitcase (which included some homemade baby food and frozen breastmilk, using my previous travel method for transport).  I carried a diaper backpack and used our Ergo and super-compact Pockit travel stroller with a tote bag that rolls up super small.  A nursing cover also came in handy for when I couldn't find a Mamava pod or nursing room; I like the privacy in an enclosed space, but I fully support those who choose to nurse uncovered!

Our travel stroller is seriously one of our favorite baby things!  Strollers need to go through the X-ray machine at airport security, AND they need to be gate checked normally due to size.  So what I did was carry Kenny in the Ergo through security, as well as for boarding/unboarding the plane, but used the stroller otherwise.  Flying by myself the stroller was great for when I needed to use the bathroom.  I just stored the Ergo in the stroller basket when I wasn't using it.  The stroller folds up so small, I was able to carry it on in the tote bag and store it overhead.  No waiting at the gate for it to be unloaded!

Our travel stroller!  The downside is the sunshade is lacking, but we bought this one later which helps...

I was ultimately really glad that I took Kenny to L.A.  I was so fortunate to have help on both sides to make it happen!  Dan took us to the airport and helped us check/carry items, and the ticket agent gave him a pass to come through and assist us all the way to the gate.  Then in L.A., my two aunts were there to pick us up, and my mother and aunt were there to help us check items on the way home... and of course Dan was once again at the airport to help us on that end!  I had a lot of support, and Kenny got to spend quality time with the Korean side of the family (including two great-aunts and a great-uncle and cousins!); my grandparents are still talking about his visit.  

Was it stressful flying alone with baby?  Yes!  But the flight was direct, people were kind and helpful, and Kenny slept most of both flights.  I loved that people were willing to hold him and talk to him when I needed to get into a bag or whatever.  I found the window seat, while it sort of trapped me, was the best for keeping Kenny entertained and allowing him to spread out a little more in my arms.

Our second flight was to Florida, for a long weekend with my family.  This time, Dan came with us, which made things SO much easier!  It was another direct flight with Kenny flying for free as a lap infant.  We just had to get him checked in at the ticket counter with his birth certificate in order to get a boarding document.  We were lucky to have an empty seat between us one flight, which we sometimes used to entertain Kenny.  In the future, I may purchase a CARES harness so that if we have an empty seat, we can use it properly for him.

Honestly, our two flights were smooth sailing, and Kenny can claim four total flights in his first year!  I think it will be harder to fly during the toddler years, especially since he is a big guy.  But we'll take it one trip at a time!

Newport, Rhode Island (Momcation!)

Back in July, I took a "momcation" to Newport, Rhode Island to visit my friend Lindsey.  It was three nights away, and it was really, really great.  Kenny was about five months old at the time, and it was the longest I'd been away from him ever.  It recharged my batteries, allowed me to give attention to my friendship, and I had more energy and excitement about coming home at the end.  I highly recommend it!  It's also important to me to role model for Kenny that I'm independent and have interests and activities outside of my relationship with him.

Linds picked me up at the Providence airport in her gorgeous convertible, and from that moment on, it was top down, sunshine ON!  I flew in on the 4th of July, so some grilling out and fireworks were in order.

But first, we were HUNGRY!  So Lindsey took me to one of her all-time favorite nostalgic Newport spots: the Castle Hill Inn, est. 1875.  Gor-geous.

The Lawn at Castle Hill Inn

Their beautiful lawn and terrace have incredible water views, so we got a table to have lunch and a cocktail al fresco.  I enjoyed a wine spritzer, because they're totally underrated and perfect for summer day-drinking, as well as their chicken al mattone, with heirloom tomatoes, burrata, and a roasted tomato vinaigrette.

And of course, since it was my first visit since Linds moved to New England, we had to share a dessert.  It was some kind of incredible funfetti cake-inspired layered magic, with delicious whipped cream and raspberries!

Spritzers are underrated.

After that, we retired to relax at Lindsey's house, which had a rooftop porch with water views and the perfect fireworks vantage point too.  We drank rosé and grilled out for dinner, capping off a beautiful travel day for me.

Over the next few days, we took a road trip to West Hartford for some real estate shopping (spoiler alert: Linds lives there now!) as well as took in the wharf and seaside in Newport.

We had a delicious breakfast at the Corner Cafe; the portions were huge, and the menu was full of Irish, Portuguese and West Coast influences.  It's the kind of place where you find black & white pudding, chourico, and breakfast burritos on the same menu, and it works!

While at the wharf, I enjoyed seeing gorgeous yachts and adorable shops.  I even visited the original Alex & Ani storefront and bought two bracelets to commemorate my trip.  The pineapple represents my friendship with Lindsey, and the sun represents a song I like to sing to Kenny.  Together, they remind me the importance of love and relationships in many facets of life.

 

One of my favorite things during our trip?  Touring The Breakers mansion!  I love The Biltmore in Asheville, and so I wanted to tour at least one mansion in Newport.  The Breakers is part of the Vanderbilt family empire, so it was the perfect one for my visit.  These incredible mansions not only have ocean views, but the exteriors and interiors are luxurious and high-end.  I can't believe these were considered summer homes, versus permanent residences!  Very Downtown Abbey.

My getaway to Newport was perfection.  I enjoyed the company of my friend, the delicious food, refreshing drinks, beautiful homes and seaside, and overall New England charm.  I felt so refreshed and happy when I got home, and I'll always have these beautiful memories of my first real trip post-partum.